I Am Tyler Durden’s Grandfather
A few years ago, the United States Postal Service decided I was an 80 year old man with a hankering for golf and cremation.
Ever since then, I get AARP cards, direct mail pieces for retirement communities, assisted living, hearing aids, eyeglasses, sleep aids, nursing homes, those weird dinner/information sessions about my retirement funds at Maggiano’s and Olive Garden, golf outings… just to name a few. Every. Day.
The best was the fancy invitation which was actually a very tastefully crafted piece wondering if I was interested in cremating my remains when “the time comes.” The subtext was clear: that time is rapidly approaching, old man.
No matter how many times I call these places and insist I’m actually on the Southern side of 30, I can’t seem to shake them all. Not that I don’t take advantage at times- hmmm. I’m starting to really regret that $5 subscription to Time magazine that came with my last AARP card…
Entry filed under: Random Bits.