I Am Tyler Durden’s Grandfather

January 27, 2011 at 4:26 pm

A few years ago, the United States Postal Service decided I was an 80 year old man with a hankering for golf and cremation.

Ever since then, I get AARP cards, direct mail pieces for retirement communities, assisted living, hearing aids, eyeglasses, sleep aids, nursing homes, those weird dinner/information sessions about my retirement funds at Maggiano’s and Olive Garden, golf outings… just to name a few. Every. Day.

The best was the fancy invitation which was actually a very tastefully crafted piece wondering if I was interested in cremating my remains when “the time comes.” The subtext was clear: that time is rapidly approaching, old man.

No matter how many times I call these places and insist I’m actually on the Southern side of 30, I can’t seem to shake them all. Not that I don’t take advantage at times- hmmm. I’m starting to really regret that $5 subscription to Time magazine that came with my last AARP card…


Entry filed under: Random Bits.

Rever10- Wisdom Spokane

About This Lady

I am a writer who has lived in DC, Los Angeles and Chicago. In the morning, I write novels. During the day, I write ads, brochures, websites and blogs. At night, I don't do any writing because that's too much writing.

Trying to be Auntie Mame but right now I feel more like Liz Lemon in execution. It's a process, people.

I have a food/fiction blog called Some Kitchen Stories.


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